If there is one thing I am not an advocate of, it’s “change.” I don’t like it and, although probably the majority of people don’t root for change – usually there is something about the familiar that we hate to let go of. Because of my personality, I’d prefer that things remain quiet and continue in the same vein. Unfortunately, my life is changing. Not in the drastic cannot-believe-I-am-doing-this kind of change, but more the subtle kind of transition that comes with maturity. I’ve grown up, and so it’s more of a changes in growing up thing.
Growing up, I went through seasons of change, and in retrospect, most of the time, those differences weren’t just “good” but changing me into a “better” person. Being where I am now, I have no desire to revert back to my teenage years. However, lately I’ve just been realizing the shift in my life. And with every passing year, that truth is becoming more a reality than fantasy.
When I was eighteen or nineteen, my mother, aunt, and a lovely lady who has been like a grandmother took me out for a birthday lunch. Somehow the conversation turned to returning to ones teenage years. I remember my mother asking me, “would you want to go back?” Naïve and self-doubting girl I was, I was like, “um… I don’t know.” Now I do. The answer: A resounding, “no!” I have no disappointments in how I was raised. My parents home-schooled me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way but I also have regrets about how I handled some things that, today I’d not take lightly. Fortunately, they aren’t the sort of things that will be a “scar” for life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes ponder changing those moments.
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I have been fortunate to have the most awesome parents ever (I might be just the tiniest bit biased). They’re leading examples of not only Christianity, but also as people, have been wonderful examples. I know that if something bothers me, they’re there to listen. For this, I shall always be grateful and hope I never lose sight of that. Lately the realization that more likely than not, this time with my parents, is drawing to a close is on my mind. I’ve reached the age where time suggests that sooner rather than later, I’ll start life on my own.
Something new makes me nervous. Trepidation is a part of my make-up but happily my life has been and is a simple one; which is just how I like it. Most of us are likely too comfortable in our surroundings and scene to want things to be shaken up. At the risk of contradicting myself, change does seem to come and go easily for me if I make up my mind that I won’t let it take over or “ruin” life. It might take me a while to fully “accept” change but adapting does seem to be something I can easily take. As far as I’m concerned, the day that change enters my life might not be my best, but we learn that …well, life happens. It rarely gives multiple-choice options or checks in with us via email; we don’t usually have a choice of a, b or c.
I’m no longer a fourteen-year-old whose thought process is one of comfort in my parent’s home. But the life I’ll one day have when you think about managing finances or running a house, is a “long way off.” Whatever life may bring us, it’s always best to take it with the right attitude. There are some great things yet to come.